As a child, I was the rebellious one. The one who questioned things, searched for my own paths, and simply walked them. I knew I was doing something \u201cwrong\u201d from the way my parents reacted to me. They didn\u2019t have it easy with me. They tried, in all sorts of ways, to fix me and put me back on the \u201cright track.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I even tried being a good daughter, but somehow, something always seemed to be wrong. The little jokes about how \u201cyou must have been adopted\u201d gradually became the better version of the story, because quite early on, I stopped feeling entirely at home within my own family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was the black sheep. The child my parents complained about most often, and sometimes even felt ashamed of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They were a little proud of my successes, but more frightened of where they might lead me \u2014 afraid, perhaps, that I would end up on the wrong path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I read too much and was \u201cruining my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I already had two sisters, so why would I need friends?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The best school, apparently, was the one closest to home, because then they could keep an eye on me. Never mind that it was the weakest school in the area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I applied to the best high school anyway \u2014 and only told my parents after I had passed the entrance exams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And eventually, I became the black sheep who no longer wanted to stay in the flock so badly that she \u201cran away from home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Although, to be fair, I was already nineteen. I had a job and had passed my final exams. In truth, I simply took full responsibility for my own life.\nStill, stepping out into the world was rather dramatic. I left home one morning to go to work \u2014 and never came back.\nI had my ID, my driving licence, my school-leaving certificate, and the clothes I was wearing.\nAnd that was my entire dowry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well\u2026 not quite.\nI also carried something far more valuable than any material possessions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
determination, the will to fight for myself, and an unshakable belief in who I was.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Looking back now, through the lens of everything I have achieved and everything I have observed in other people\u2019s lives, I can see that things could have turned out very differently.\nMy path became one of hard work, learning, and searching for my own place in the world. I can say that I gave myself the luxury of consciously creating my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 and, perhaps even more importantly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n what I did not want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Would I be where I am today if I had been a good, obedient daughter?\nI don\u2019t think so.\nSometime in the 1990s or early 2000s, I read a book called Good Girls Go to Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere. It felt like a revelation. And somehow, it quietened my guilty conscience.\n\nBecause even though I was doing what I wanted, and in the way I wanted, I was never completely free from the feeling that I had disappointed my family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now I understand.\nWe black sheep are here for a reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We are the ones who show our families that there is another way.\nThat life can be different. That perhaps it can even be better.\nOther paths are not lesser simply because they are different. They can be beautiful. Exciting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They can take us to places we never imagined and teach us things we could never have learned by staying on the familiar road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If I had stayed home and done what, from my parents\u2019 perspective, was \u201cgood for me,\u201d I would never have discovered who I truly was \u2014 or what I was capable of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And now I am a mother.\nWhich means I sometimes have to remind myself not to expect my children to live the lives I imagine will be best for them.\nEven with all my experience, even knowing what I know \u2014 and knowing how much I don\u2019t know \u2014 I simply cannot know what kind of life will be the right one for my children.\nBut that is the strange thing about a mother\u2019s love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It comes with tenderness, and with fear. With a deep desire to protect. And sometimes, despite everything I know, I still want to arrange the pieces of their lives according to what I believe will keep them safe and make everything turn out well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh, how I have to keep an eye on myself\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because perhaps loving our children also means leaving space for their own paths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For their own mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For their own discoveries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the roads we would never have chosen for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have two children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A beautiful, grown-up black sheep\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026and a young, promising little black ram. :)<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are such a black sheep, and you need to meet yourself in presence of other, kind women - please attent the nearest Circle.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As a child, I was the rebellious one. The one who questioned things, searched for my own paths, and simply walked them. I knew I was doing something \u201cwrong\u201d from the way my parents reacted to me. They didn\u2019t have it easy with me. They tried, in all sorts of ways...<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":581,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":1,"label":"Blog"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Projekt-bez-nazwy-4-1024x724.png",1024,724,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"admin-BOzLjufd","author_link":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/author\/admin-bozljufd\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":1,"name":"Blog","slug":"blog","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":6,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1,"category_count":6,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Blog","category_nicename":"blog","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=580"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":582,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/580\/revisions\/582"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kawalekraju.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}